The more I reflected, the more inspired I got. Little by little the memories came and nostalgia overtook me. As I went over each year, I understood something crucial that I must now accept as a 30-year-old.
As I closed in on my 20s, I felt the need to look back on the last 10 years of my life. Before I knew it, I found myself writing. Thinking I must share this with every 20-year-old out there (and not so 20-year-old). And that’s when I understood…
I understood, that regardless of what I write, you must go through life making your own decisions. And you have to! Because that is the one and only way you will become who you have to be.
For me, the 20s were a roller coaster. A decade of exploration and self-discovery. A time of challenges and experiences. And a period of learning and growth.
Here is what I learned from the last 10 years.
Don’t be afraid of bending the rules (a bit).
So many times I stopped myself from doing things. Thinking that the other person will say no. Or just telling myself that things were not allowed without even checking.
At 22, I went on a skiing trip with my uncles. While on the road I said something that motivated him to share a story with me. I never saw things the same way again.
There was a guy on a bus who wanted to smoke. He wanted to smoke so bad he was willing to smoke right there inside the bus. So he built the courage and asked the bus driver if he could smoke. The driver turned to him and told him NO! You can’t smoke.
He felt super bad and angry. He asked the driver back, how is it possible that that guy could smoke on the bus and he couldn’t. The driver told him, well that’s because he didn’t ask.
I’m not telling you to go and break laws to get ahead. What I mean is don’t be your own obstacle. Many times you will expect that others will tell you no without even asking. Let others be the ones that say no, not you.
In life, most people will not even ask. Heck! Some may not even get on the bus. But a few will ask the driver, and a handful will just go ahead and light up their cigarette. You chose in which group you want to be.
Don’t Be Afraid Of Making Big Decisions.
By big decisions, I mean: moving to another country, starting a business, switching majors at university, getting married, and stuff. The kind of things that change the direction of your life.
When we are young we tend to believe that the decisions we make, will hunt us down for the rest of our lives. There is a reason why according to the Washing Post, in a survey from the Federal Reserve Bank, only 27% of college graduates work in the field they studied.
Life continues to move forward, things will change all the time. If making the decision makes you happy and at peace with yourself, then go for it.
There is no value in regret. All it does is to hold you back from new opportunities. What is in the past, IS in the past and there is no need to worry about it.
You have no impact on the things that already happen. All you can do is focus on the future. Make sure you learn from the experience and move on.
There Is A Generational Divide.
Many times, I felt that I didn’t get the support that I needed from my parents or family. As if I was supposed to be doing something else than my plans.
Each generation engages in a completely different world than the previous one. This means each generation has different ways to see life. And different ways about how one should live it. Different social values, principles, vocabularies, fashions, etc.
The world your parents found when they joined the workplace doesn’t exist anymore. So it’s normal that the things they pressure you with, will not fit into what you want to do.
The problem is that they see your life from their perspective and not from yours. But of course, how can your parents see it from your perspective if you don’t communicate how you feel?
The generational divide is because of a miscommunication problem, from both sides.
As long as you don’t express how you feel, people will not understand why things are important to you.
Everything changes the moment you begin to see the generational divide. The moment you start learning about your generation. The moment you start working on your communication skills, you will stop feeling pressured.
It’s only then you can begin to connect with those who love you and start to get the support you need.
The link below is a video produced by a Brazilian consulting company that will give you a better understanding of our generation and that of our parents.
You Don’t Need To Follow “The List.”
Society pressures you by dictating what you need to do or achieve to be successful.
Because most people are afraid of bending the rules. Because most people aren’t aware of the generational dived. They get handed down a life list.
A list to life, complete with a full timeline. Listing each single achievements you must reach to find the success you seek.
You do have a list of things you consider will make you successful. The only problem is that “The List” is giving to us and your job is to fill it in with the things you want for your life.
To succeed you need to be different.
Not different strange, but different in the way of seeing things. Different on your way of acting, of thinking, different on the way you deliver your work.
Follow your list and you will find what you are looking for. Follow others, and you will run around in circles trying to find what fulfills you.
Check the video below to see Drew Dudley’s Ted Talk on “The List.”
Invest in developing yourself.
Whether it’s by traveling or through courses. Whether it’s through books, writing, or coaching. Get in the habit of growing yourself.
The world is growing at exponential rates. In this age of information, those who do not invest in themselves will stay behind.
Focus on building learning habits. Forget about money and figure out what you love. When you do what you love, you will be good at it and money will follow.
Focus on developing yourself. Your patience, your empathetic skills, your emotional intelligence, and above all, your communication skills.
Understanding how you feel will allow you to lead yourself.
Understanding how others feel will allow you to connect with them.
Learn how to communicate your ideas effectively and you will go far.
A Little Exercise.
I would like to ask you to look ahead in your life. Imagine yourself doing your dream job. How does it look like?
Now imagine how a day at work would look like. You come into work and what would you be doing?
Is it fun? Is that what you want?
Make sure to share in the comments below, which items should be on your list that are currently not. And which items that are, should be deleted from your list?
Just keep something in mind. Success is worth nothing if you have nobody to share it with.
If there is somebody you know who may benefit from reading this post. Please go ahead and do them and me a favor by sharing this article with them.