Whether you are a competitive person or not, every day you have to make a choice. Every day you must decide whether you want to be a winner or a loser. It doesn’t matter what you go through and what the outcome is, you must decide which one you will be.
In order to proceed, we must make sure that we are aligned in the concepts of winning or losing. I feel that these two words have taken very strong negative meanings in recent times.
Especially the word loser which tends to be associated with failure. Or in the case of winners, which can be attributed to having a jerkish and selfish attitude. So for the sake of this post, I will ask you to put on your growth mindset hat.
In a growth mindset, we will define the winner as the person who grows from having gone through the experience (regardless of winning or losing). And the loser will be the person who decides not to grow from it. I explain.
As it turns out, there are some areas of your life in which you are a winner and others in which you are a loser. It’s all on the way you decide to approach the experiences that you go through.
The easiest way to know which ones are which is by taking a moment to think about the things that you love doing and the ones you don’t like so much.
If you are looking to grow whether you like the activity or not, then you are winning. If you are just running away from it because you are not “good” at it, then you are losing.
The qualities that will make you win at winning.
Let’s assume you love running. You try to do it as often as you can. With time, it has become easier and you feel comfortable with the idea of taking bigger challenges. Before you know it, you are running Marathons and Triathlons.
Quick question: What would be the difference between the person who actually wins those races and you?
More than the physical and the experience, the big difference is in your mindset. The difference between the two of you is in the fact that only one of you wants to win.
Let’s say you also want to win, then I ask you. How badly did you really want to win? Did you rather practice than go to sleep or party? Did you think eating was a waste of time because it didn’t let you practice?
The whole thing is in how you handle the situation and your actual goals. But, in a fixed mindset, you would believe that you will never be able to win because you don’t have this or that. So to “protect” yourself from “failing,” you tell yourself that you only train because you enjoy it.
In a growth mindset, you protect yourself by growing your comfort zone. By trying to become better at the things you do. So when you lose, you just take this as feedback that you are not ready. Pushing yourself to work harder and try again. Eventually, you will make it.
That is why in your everyday life, you must choose whether you will be a winner or a loser. And you can increase your chances of winning at whatever you do by developing a set of qualities.
You actually have these qualities already, you just don’t apply them to every area of your life. To find them, just take a look at those moments in which you do the things you love, those moments in which you really want to win. I’m sure you will find them in you.
You don’t doubt, you believe in yourself, you know you are good. You know that you are capable of performing because you developed the skills. This allows you to make fast decisions and stand behind them.
You WANT IT! and you want it bad! You just want to continue developing and getting better at it. For you, there is no other choice around it. You are determined to push your limits further than your competitors.
You have the ability to understand how others feel and think. This makes you capable of seeing things from their perspectives, allowing you to learn from their mistakes, their skills, and connect with others who love what you love.
You have a plan. You have prepared a strategy that will take you to develop the skills you need and you do your homework, over and over. When they eat, you practice; when they sleep, you practice; when they party, you practice.
You know your flaws, your weaknesses, and strengths. You focus on making your weak points stronger and your strengths even stronger. You know how others perceive you and you use this to your advantage.
You are able to work with others. You understand the need to delegate and given you empathetic skills and preparation and conviction, you are able to coordinate others into the overall plan.
Your self-awareness allows you to deal with the fact that you are not the smartest in the team and gives you the spaces to make others excel, creating a culture of synergy in your project.
You are able to communicate your ideas, your vision. You clearly transmit your ideas onto other people’s heads. You inspire them to see, feel, taste, and smell the final goal.
You need to know where you want to go or at least have an idea so that others can get on board and support you. This idea will fuel your motivation to continue working your way to winning. It will also give you the space to adapt your plans as you learn more along the way.
You are able to think rationally and not emotionally during situations that require you to make quick decisions. Supported by your empathetic skills and your self-awareness, you manage to lead yourself regardless of the environment around you.
All this means that…
In order for you to win, you need to believe that you can actually win, you need to believe that something else can happen. You actually need to want to win and then work your way from there.
If you don’t win, it only means that you are not ready yet. That is all! Just get back up, continue working on it and try it again, eventually, you will make it.
The problem is that most of us are afraid of dealing with it, we try to hide, we try to excuse ourselves and if, in the end, we can’t avoid it, we do it because we have to. Just look at how often you push yourself to work on your weaknesses.
More often than not, you will find yourself overestimating others and underestimating yourself. As if they are supreme beings from beyond with special abilities you will never be able to develop.
Just cut the crap and start working on the qualities that will get you ahead. The road is very steep…
If there is somebody you know who will benefit from this post, feel free to share it with them.
What I want you to do know is to compare your mindset when you do things that you love to do and those you don’t. Share your mental struggle with it in the comments section below!